In reality, the pain of losing an animal can be overwhelming. Many people, Bigler says, experience shock, disbelief, pain and brain fog. Some also have physical symptoms, such as heart palpitations, stomach pains and extreme fatigue. After all, the grievance, she says, is exhausting.
Her son died, and she felt alone. In his complaint, he found YouTube.
Sarkis adds that complaining about pets can also put people at an increased risk of suicide.
“For many people, this is the being they are closest to,” says Sarkis. “Your cat or dog is there to greet you every day. It gets easier with time, but it can be as painful as a human family member near death, so you have to take it seriously.”
The innocence of pets makes their loss even more heartbreaking.
“When was the last time your pet lied to you or made you feel bad about yourself or had unrealistically high expectations for you?” Bigler says. “Our animals are the givers of unconditional love and acceptance, which is something that many guardians do not always receive in their lives.”
Of all the feelings that accompany the animal’s grievance, the strongest is often guilt. Because pet owners are responsible for their pets’ medical decisions, many wonder if euthanasia was the right choice.
The night after Gigi died, I sat with my mother on the sofa. We talked about the last few days. We talked about Gigi. Formerly my grandmother’s dog, Gigi became ours when my grandmother moved into a senior living facility and could no longer care for her.
“I knew we didn’t have much longer,” my mother said. “I knew I shouldn’t get too attached. But when I looked at him, all I saw was unconditional love.
And I couldn’t help but fall in love too.”
The spiritual questions of grievance
The hardest part of Gigi’s grief was the spiritual doubt that followed.
In my grief-stricken mind, I couldn’t help but wonder: would I ever see Gigi? Human death, at least, offers the possibility of heaven. But what about my dog? What about my sweet dog?
“Many of my clients want to know, will I be reunited with my loved one one day?” Bigler says. “Even if you don’t know exactly what exactly your belief is, if you find comfort in the idea of a meeting, let’s take comfort in it, because you feel supported now.”
The day before Gigi died, I prayed – prayed desperately, frantically – that she wouldn’t be alone after our last goodbye.
Two people from Quiet pet service came the next day to put Gigi to sleep. My family couldn’t have asked for two kinder and kinder people for the process. They let us hold Gigi on the sofa for the last time. We shared memories of our time with her. We talked about her love of ribbons in her hair and her powerful appetite and her Halloween princess costume. We talked about how, when my grandmother had a heart attack, Gigi supported me as I took care of my grandmother through the aftermath. We talked about how much we love him.
When we were ready, they administered euthanasia. In seconds, his life and suffering was over.
Later that day, I took a nap and had a vivid dream about Gigi. I saw him as a puppy, in front of our fire – vibrant and happy and full of life. I reached out to touch her and could feel her real fur as if I was awake.
I don’t know what this dream means. I don’t know if that means anything. But I know that every day since, when I look at Gigi’s ashes on our fireplace mantel, the pain has become a little easier.
And I know that one day, when I look at them, my complaint will melt into gratitude for that touch of unconditional love that was called Gigi.
Dismissed at 50, she had lost everything: Then came the complaint.
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Distilling hard to understand concepts into readable content, or what I like to call, a miracle.