Dear Annie: I grew up never allowed to have pets. I have been married for almost 30 years to a man who has allowed me to have a small indoor dog, and he doesn’t care that much, but he hates the two we have outside. Both were saved, one by his eldest son who had tied him to a tree, the other by a rescue group. Both weigh less than 7 pounds. He hates them and looks for any excuse to get mad at them. One is a thief but does not chew his finds. The other digs tiny holes that a pecan can fit in, but not many, two or three at a time.
The problem is that if our niece brings a pet for us to take care of, it can’t hurt because we love our niece, no matter how stinky or destructive the animal is. This hurts my heart and makes me feel like he is putting up with them because he loves her. What about me? – Protection of animals
Protective gear: There seems to be a significant imbalance in how your husband views your pets compared to your niece’s, which I understand feels personal since your pets mean a lot to you. It is important to face not only the specifics of this animal situation, but also your feelings of being under pressure in your relationship.
Be with your husband to tell him how much it means to you to take care of your animals and how it hurts to hear that this interest of yours is not reciprocated. Encourage him to engage more with the animals in the hope that it might make him feel more connected to them, like you feel connected to your niece’s pets, and see what limits there are to set up to make it feel more comfortable to have the dogs inside. your shared space. Let this raw and honest conversation be a step towards better understanding and strengthening your marriage.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
